Last week I went to a hypnotherapist on Harley Street in London to go under the surgeons knife... a virtual surgeons knife. I've spent the last 3 years battling with my weight after putting on a good 3-4 stone, much due to the fact of me not doing any exercise, working hard on my career and becoming well, a bit lazy and opting to stay in rather then staying active. Over the past 3 years food has never been much of a problem, yes I LOVE food and my family and close ones are fascinated by gastronomy and I am lucky to eat at some of the finest restaurants in the country, aside this I have always maintained a healthy diet and I eat very well.
Yes, I eat very good food, I don't have an overly indulgent sweet tooth either, yes I do like chocolate but I wouldn't say I go out of my way to buy it, yes I've tucked in to the odd McDonalds, had the odd weekend of too much booze, over indulged in creamy things and enjoyed a good old cheese board on a sunday. But my habits aren't any different to anyone else in fact I think I eat better than most people I know. I love all vegetables and salads, and they take up the majority of my plate most meal times. So I do wonder sometimes why I bother, when I feel just as bad eating the good stuff than I would if I was to stuff my face with bad stuff?
I've never been a gym bunny, i've never had to be, iv always been very blessed not to go have to go to the gym, that was until I turned about 24 and since then I seemed to overnight put on 4 stone and since then I can't look at myself in the mirror.
I do try to avoid the gym at all costs, as much as I love it when I'm there, I make every excuse to convince myself that I'm genuinely too knackered, which I usually am. Being a teacher isn't the most stress free job on the planet so when I get home I want to take an aspirin, put my pajamas on pass out for the night to have enough energy to fight the next day. I have no desire to go and exercise for a good 2 hours. But I try... for about 4 weeks then I get back in the pajamas routine.
Recently, I have become very low in self esteem, from loving everything about myself to not being able to look in the mirror has been very distressing. I have become someone who I don't really know and someone who my close family cant really understand anymore. All I think about is my weight and how I look, and some days it takes hours to even want to get dressed, as nothing I do makes any difference to how I feel. It has begun to affect my life quite severely. I have gone from a happy go lucky carefree positive soul to a self loathing negative empty soul. It has got to a point now where i am at a dead end, not wanting to go on holiday, avoiding fashion outlets at all cost because nothing i like comes in my size, i have to settle on cheap tat that resemble tent like structures so that all disliked areas are covered and hidden from view... It goes on...
The hypnosis - It was passed on to me by close family who's friend who had been to see a hypnotist and lost 16lbs in 4 weeks, and I couldn't believe it. I immediately booked myself in straight away. I briefly chatted to the hypnotherapist on the phone before hand about my food habits, my lifestyle, and she came to the conclusion that my metabolism had just stopped and needed starting again... we touched on eating every 4 hours, drinking lots of water, not skipping breakfast, stopping eating when I'm full, and not feel sorry for the bit of food iv left on the plate and using myself as a bin instead of letting it go to an actual bin to be disposed of.
The day of the hynosis- The hypno was very strange, no I wasn't looking at a spinning circle and no she wasn't dangling something in front of my eyes! It was very relaxing and very soothing and I felt awake but I was also in a daze and my body felt very heavy, it felt a bit like the daze your in when you're driving and you maybe miss out a few minutes of your journey because your mind was wondering elsewhere. I didn't see everything she talked me through; I had to imagine myself in size 10 dresses, looking at size 10 labels as I went into the shops, picturing myself trying them on in the mirror with a big smile across my face , I couldn't picture this, I felt maybe that because my self esteem has become so low, I still feel I'm trying to avoid looking at myself in a mirror in nice things hypno or no hypno or maybe i feel that deep inside know i am never going to be a size 10 again? On the plus side... I absolutely did feel the virtual surgery, I felt the anesthetic, the surgery lights, and felt my stomach tighten as the band was inserted! My subconscious mind totally believed I had a gastric band fitted!
Successful? I'm only in week 1 of the hypnosis, others around me have noticed my food intake has become less and I don't finish my plate, (then lick it or finish others peoples left overs). I have become very full and feel bloated a lot of the time too, so I literally cant eat another thing or I will burst, but then my stomach isn't bloated at all? I don't feel as hungry either. Only time will tell, I am determined not to miss out on another holiday this year and really want the old confident me back so I can start living again.
Today I'm off to pick up some scales so i can see if i can see the results yet... I will keep you posted...
B x
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